Proverbs 12:4,  A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

Today, in many circles, the Bible is considered to be culturally backward for culture perceives that it restricts human growth and human advance. 

Even the relationship that the Bible promotes, a relationship between a Father God and His children is seen as one which keeps back the advancement of human evolution. 

For to be under a father means to be under authority and being under authority is restrictive, hindering human growth

Modern thought is that we have grown beyond the strictures of the Bible and that which the Bible teaches is for another time, place and people and is not suited for an educated and intellectually superior race that exists today. 

And part of this perceived backwardness has to do with the role of women. 

And not only the traditional role of women is under attack but also the role of men is being questioned as we see throughout society the masculinization of women and the feminization of men. 

This ought not to be a surprise to us for the mission of Satan is to undo everything that God has put in place.  

Satan revealed himself in the Garden of Eden when he introduced to Eve the idea that God was limiting her and her husband to vast possibilities that lay beyond the restrictive hand of their Creator. 

The words “Ye hath God said” I imagine oozed in sweet tones out of the serpent’s mouth. 

They continued with: God is keeping your eyes shut from good and evil. 

God is keeping you from being all that you can be, but I am here to open your eyes to a world beyond your thought. 

Now all you have to do is to take a bite of sweet fruit from this beautiful tree that that mean old God is trying to keep from you. 

Go ahead, bite and be free! 

And that message continues as the culture tells us that God’s Word keeps us from fulfilling a glorious destiny.

And part of that glorious destiny is the erasure of the idea of gender and the different roles of gender.   

One of the things that God put in place early in his plan was the idea of gender, the idea of two individuals, one called a man and the other called a women. 

Individual names for individuals, alike in some ways but also unique one from the other.

In fact this idea was not restricted to humans for this gender idea is present in all of God’s creation.

Read Genesis 6:19,  And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female. 

God did not command that two males come in nor two females come in the Ark but one of each.

Nature proclaims this idea is still active for all of nature complies with God’s arrangement but in our day men proclaim this arrangement is too restrictive and harsh and ought not to be, at least in the human race. 

Culture calls for the erasure of gender but God is still on the throne and God’s Word is still in effect for those who believe it and that is the kind of belief that results in the doing of it. 

Our proverb for today is a reminder that God has made gender and has made each, male and female with distinct performing roles so made to fit each gender.

Our culture insists on equality but God is not in the equality business for everything that He has made is unique and one of a kind. 

God tells us:  A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

Before we get into the details of this proverb notice that both genders are represented. 

One is called a woman and the other is called her husband. 

The word his as in “his bones” is used so we know that this husband is the second gender, the man gender. 

Nowadays you have to be clear about things like this,

Also notice that this proverb ties the woman to the man. 

It is her action that affects the man.   

This proverb is not about any action on his part affecting her.

Her virtuousness brings him a crown and her shame brings rottenness in his bones.

In other words the center of this proverb is the man for her life actions are recorded as affecting the man.

This is not politically correct thought today and if this auditorium were filled with men and women of the world I would be cast out for teaching such inequality. 

But this is Bible doctrine.  God has so created gender to fit into certain roles and everything God does is for the betterment of his creation. 

The idea in doing God’s will, includes doing what God has created your gender to do. 

If you are a man you have been given a role to fulfil and likewise if you are a women you also have a God given role to perform.   Equality is irrelevant.

Each role is a privilege and one in which to be content.

The clearest message from God for this is so apparent in the matter of child bearing for hard as a man may try he cannot conjure up the ability to bear children. 

God has given this privilege to women and I think forever it will be, however I imagine some scientist somewhere is trying to prove me wrong. 

Another difference of the roles is in the matter of authority for God has given rule to the man over the woman.

Genesis 3:16,  Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

And in Ephesians 5:22,23, this principle was again verified for New Testament times. 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

And this rule is displayed in our proverb for as we have said the woman’s actions are not described apart from her husband but are those affecting her husband. 

Her virtuousness or her shame is in regard to her husband. 

Authority is like this.

We are to bring glory to God for he is our authority and I believe it is part of the role of a woman to bring glory to her husband and that is displayed in this proverb.  

It is sad to see that this principle is being cast aside today as man and wife try to live unique lives whereby each seeks personnel glory apart from each other and in many cases this involves gender mixing. 

Satan is bent on the erasure of what God has established and the mixing or destruction of gender is one of his most prominent goals.

But we who believe the Bible are not to miss the honor that the woman has when she does God’s will in this matter of submission, for she becomes the crown upon her husband’s head.  

She is not given a lessor place of honor such as a ring on his finger or a necklace around his neck but given the highest place of honor upon his head that all eyes will be drawn to him through the crown.

Now can there be any greater honor for a woman than to be a crown? 

Certainly the world will reward vocations outside of this vocation but I believe the doing of God’s will in the matter of conformance with His Word will bring the greater success.

So God instructs, God defines our roles. 

And in his definition he brings to our mind virtue and shame. 

For:  A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

Ruth, the wife of Boaz is described as a virtuous woman. 

She was a crown to her husband and that crown eventually brought into his family a man named David who was crowned king.

Ahab had rottenness in his bones for his wife named Jezebel brought him much shame.

King Lemuel’s mother in Proverbs 31 asked the question: Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

She compares a woman of virtue with precious stones and says there is no comparison between the two for a virtuous woman far surpasses any riches of this world.

And the question “Who can find” indicates that searching is necessary to find such a woman for they must be rare as precious stones are rare.

To find precious stones requires one to know the makeup of precious stones. 

What do they look like, what are their characteristics? 

So Lemuel’s mother gives one characteristic of the right women and that characteristic is virtue.

Now the sense of the word “virtue” is strength, gained from straining, stretching, or extending.

It is reaching, or pressing for a mark that is farther than you are, a mark that is out of your reach.

We sing the hymn O safe to the Rock that is higher than I. 

We as believers press to that Rock.  That is virtue.

Paul was virtuous when in Philippians 3:14 he said, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

His pressing revealed him as virtuous.

The virtuous woman has great or powerful, inherent qualities.

She is a reaching woman, a straining woman, a pressing woman, a woman who extends herself in service to God and to others.

She is a woman who extends herself, a woman who is not satisfied with the average but stretches herself to excellence.

By being virtuous she is in conformity with moral or divine law, where living on a higher plane is the norm.

The virtuous woman is not satisfied to live like everyone else for she seeks excellence and will not run with the pack and does not make decisions to satisfy her peers.

She has a reaching or a pressing thought life.

She thinks on things that are true, things that are honest, and just and pure, things that are lovely, things that are of good report, and things that are praiseworthy.

This is a woman of self-discipline, compassion, responsibility, friendship, work, courage, perseverance, honesty, loyalty, a woman of faith.

Read of her in Chapter 31 and you will find her to be a doer, a seeker, a bringer, a riser, a giver, a considerer, a buyer, a planter, a worker, a stretcher, a reacher, a maker, a looker, an opener, a fearer of God.

These are virtues because they can only be accomplished by a woman reaching beyond herself.

She does not think of herself as limited as the world teaches women today who operate according to the Bible and invest their lives in the permanent instead of that which is on the altar of the immediate.

So this is the kind of woman who is a crown to her husband.  

This is the kind of woman whose children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also and he praiseth her. Proverbs 31:28

Oh, husbands, you hard and cold husbands who think it weak to give a bit of praise. 

Do you have a virtuous wife? 

Do you see the crown on your head and think you put it there? 

Look again hard for it is your wife and you are to arise up and call her blessed and offer praise to the one who has been given those background, hidden tasks of life, a place most unlikely to receive praise and thanksgiving.

And in your thanksgiving give thanks and praise to God that she does not make you ashamed and bring rottenness to your bones.

So here in Proverbs 12:4 the contrast is given. 

 Instead of a virtuous women the contrast is a man who has a wife who brings shame to the union

Instead of picturing a crown upon his head we see rotten bones. 

 What a woe, for what can be accomplished with rotten bones, bones being the foundation of the body.    

 This woman without virtue brings shame perhaps by being extravagant, perhaps by being unfaithful, perhaps by seeking the admiration of others neglecting to be admired by her husband. 

 In this it is as rottenness to his bones for it damages his usefulness, it brings him to unhappiness, and it may even drive him to unfaithfulness also.

God made women to be a help to a man.  It says this in 

Genesis 2:18,  And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

That couplet “help meet” is many times pronounced as one word, helpmeet, but it is two words. 

An help, which from the Hebrew, means to aid, to surround, to protect. 

This means that God made a woman to be a protector of a man in that she would be the doer for him. 

She would be the one to look after him to aid him that he live and be successful. 

She is the one who makes the nest comfortable.

Now the word “meet” means counterpart which is something that fits another perfectly. 

In other words she will be a crown specifically measured for the head of her husband. 

God makes no mistakes, men, for when he tailors the right mate for you she will fit perfectly.

This Father’s Day message is found in I Peter 3:7:

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.